Am I the better half or is he???

I was thinking about some of the sayings about marriage:

"the old ball and chain"

"it takes 50/50 to have a successful marriage" and of course we can't forget, "meet my better half so-and-so".

These saying drive me nuts because they are so deceptive,  Let me tell you why!

Lets start with the ball-and-chain, anyone who has been married for more than 3 months can tell you covenant is nothing like a ball and chain, you are not being held by force but by an  unconditional, deep and forgiving love - and though you are one nothing compliments who you are and who you are called to be and even what you are called to do like a GOD-GIVEN spouse.!

Next, anyone who is married and has 1/2 a brain can tell you that 50/50 is not enough! Each person must give 100 percent to marriage. 100 percent to making it work, last and thrive. Scott has a saying that I absolutely think is so true (great advice for people dating too). He says, you can not spend your efforts trying to FIND the right one - You've got to spend it BECOMING the right one. That's it, you have got to set your focus on making it a goal to not let marriage become just about the happiness of one or the other but, work toward each others happiness, learn to serve your spouse, learn to forgive, learn to truly love. A God-centered love will go soooooo far! It must be mutual- and it is all about teamwork and like any good team mate would know, you've got to give it your all- do your best but work together for the benefit of the team not just one person! It takes 100 percent! You will get out of marriage what you put into marriage...... do you just want 50 percent happiness, 50 percent faithfulness, 50 of your spouse? No one does.... right? So, go ahead.... give it your all, God thought he or she was worth his son- your spouse is definitely worth your effort!

Which leads me to "this is my better half". WHAT? What is this... I particularly dislike this one.... bc if you are God's best for someone, giving 100 percent, in covenant with God and your spouse then guess what.... there is NO BETTER HALF! You are both equally God's favorites!

So now that I have given my 2 cents about these ridiculous sayings... as Forrest Gump would say; "thats all I got to say about that"!

What brought this up was something I saw on TV between a husband and wife. Total disrespect for each other and their marriage. It made me ill that this covenant that so many "dream" about getting into is the same covenant they are willing to spit on at the first moment of testing, at the first moment of money running out, or the first time someone says or does something the other does not like. We've got to really understand that that the "wedding" that you've dreamed about as a little girl is just one day and that after that day, you will have a "marriage". What will you do with it. Have you prepared for the details of that? Or was the most important thing to you the dress, the ring or the flowers? Just something to think about. As I am thinking about it, I challenge you to as well.

Anyways, while watching this hideous event unfold on TV (the one with the disrespectful people), Scott yelled to me "Oh no, there's a bug, where's a shoe" I can handle bugs except peanut bugs (june bugs to others) and roaches. I yell back "what is it" as I see him running frantically about the house looking for a shoe. I turn to see him turn the corner with a shoe raised high and a look of "I will conquer you" on his face. As he was swatting the bug he says, "It's a ro.........." before he even finished the sentence I was already thinking, " I can not live here, I am packing right now! I can not live here anymore (I continued with my thoughts), I'm not even gonna pack it can all stay here- it is roach infested here anyway! So he continued his word "oooaachhh" and I snapped back to reality when he picked up the roach and threw it at me...... I jumped at least 3 feet in the air and just looked for the nearest door which is the balcony (4 floors up). I thought very seriously about taking the plunge for a moment before I noticed him laughing.... laughing very loudly as he slumped over and held his stomache in laughter! It was then I realized that I had been given a taste of my own medicine with a small plastic roach I've name "giuseppe". I have used "giuseppe" and his friend "Hermie" (a rubber snake)  over and over again to prank other people but am now having to face what I have put others through. Funny story.....One time me and the kids (jojo, bubba and cineca) put "giuseppe" in my sisters burrito and I laughed equally as loud as she almost bit it in half and grossed out! 

Hey, don't blame me, the kids started the tradition of pranking with plastic bugs years ago! They influenced me, not the other way around :) (so I tell myself).

But after it was all said and done, I ran after Scott and he ran away laughing out loud and trying to catch his breath ... it was one of those moments I wish I could freeze and replay every night before I go to bed..... you see; he rarely gets a way with pranking me but this time he reveled in the victory of it and I have to admit -as a prankster myself I was very proud of him :) I truly adore my husband!

I share that story to say that marriage is a matter of choice and you can choose to look at the bad or you can choose to FOCUS on the good. These silly things are the things I LOVE about my husband. I love the way he speaks the Word of God and truth in my life, I love the way he leaves me encouraging notes in my car, I love all of our little family traditions and I love the way we just goof and have fun! It does not really matter that he runs late sometimes or that he forgets things sometimes bc guess what, I'm not perfect either! I leave my clothes out laying around the house and sometimes -> get this..... I get in a bad mood! Yeah, I'm not afraid to admit it, I can be flat out mean sometimes! We are both a work in progress in need of Grace from God and each other.

But none of that matters- what matters is the promise that was made between the two of us before God! The love of God for us and the the love that God gives us for each other is all we need! 

I just wish everyone who entered into this covenant would call on the Lord and understand that he is a God who nothing is impossible for!

It saddens me that divorce is the first option people take, I understand some marriages endure some very hard trials (abuse, adultery and many others)..... but, make a choice today to stay in covenant and to trust God that he is the strength, power and healer! Remember my friend that with God all things are possible even - healing of your heart, mind emotions and marriage.

Have a blessed day!

-Missa